DISCLAIMER: If this sounds like something that was written by someone who talks really fast, it was. If it’s over the top, that was the intent. If it sounds like something a guy at the expo would rattle off, as people stood around smiling, laughing and inching away it is. If the exact same thing was said to “normal folk” or “muggles” you would hear crickets, then I have been successful in pressing these buttons with letters on them. Thank you, live long and prosper, may the force be with you and sorry, so sorry.
Alright, since I am self described as: Khansulting Rebel Scum living off Lembas Bread from The Seam, who, if JLA or SHEILD find out I am Divergent they’ll kick me out of Ravenclaw. You can say I’m slightly obsessed with fandom unity.
Now, looking at nerd life, we all have that special, one or two, or ten fandoms. That one, book, show, game or movie that holds our whole heart. But, who is the king and queen of these fandoms? Who are the two people that unanimously make people fangirl or fanboy around the house, convention or even streets of our respective city?
Katara is Roxy Ritcher with Lucas Lee is Captain America with Jane Foster is Padme with Sabe is Elizabeth Swan with Anamaria is Uhura with Khan is Sherlock with Watson is Bilbo with Gandalf is Magneto with Proffesor X is Jean Luc with Shinzon is Bane with Commisoner Gordon is Sirius Black with Barty Crouch Jr is Ten with The Dream Lord is Claudius Templesmith with Katniss is Mystique with Angel Salvador is Christina. So there you have it, a couple fandom connections. Now I realize some of those characters may not be side by side, in scenes, but the franchises line up. So yeah. Now this brings us back to the question, who are the King and Queen of the fandoms. And will Nimoy sing them Bilbo Baggins when all is said and done?
Bale? You are Batman and John Connor. Could we crown you as king? Ben, oh Benny Ben Benidict Ben. Big Ben, you would get many a fangirls vote, and squeals. You are new Khan. You are Sherlock. And you are Smaug. This puts you in with the fantasy, sci fi and bookwormy kids. But does this warrant you being king? TENnant is up there, The Doctor and Barty Crouch Jr. Please don’t get me started on the man’s hair and fangirl appeal. Two excellent canidates there, but what about more seasoned vets? Han Solo and Indiana Jones: Harrison Ford is definitely a great contender. But what about everybody’s favourite Professor and a great Starfleet captain. Patrick Stewart is pretty freakin’ cool, plus he’s a knight. And where would nerd culture be without the UK? Doctor Who, Sherlock, Harry Potter and so on.
Other guys that have some serious cred would be Nathan Fillion, Misha Collins and Simon Pegg. Mark Hamill!!!!! The Joker, Firelord Ozai and Mother Freaking Luke Skywalker?! That is crazy fire force coming your way! But I dunno guys, what about a serious badass, Dooku and Sauroman. Christopher Lee is crazy awesome, plus he could show Benedict a thing or two about having the voice of a god.
But, I think, my vote will inevitably go to Sir Ian Mckellen. With his Gandlaf count coming up on six and being Magneto four times. The man owns those rolls. He is a knight and this…..
Now, onto the ladies, Halle Berry springs to mind, being a DC and Marvel. Storm and Catwoman. But I dunno if she’d be crowned queen. Hmm. I do like Lenny Kravitz daughter Zoe. She’s Angel Salvador and Christina from Divergent. And being so young she’s just getting going. Another young contender would be J-Law. She’s hilarious and awesome, plus her Mystique count is at two, and playing Katniss four times when all is said and done doesn’t hurt. And I do have a sneaking suspicion she is a nerd in real life, we’ve all seen her quotes and interviews, the girl oozes awkward geek. Now, as if shaving your head for V for Vendetta wasn’t enough, she did play Luke and Leia’s mom three times, Natalie Portman is really cool. And anyone who can rap like that on SNL is sure to catch major nerd attention. What about Emilia Clarke? When she’s not the Unburnt Mother of Dragons, she is gearing up as John Connors mom, I mean that’s gotta count for something. The beautiful and talented Shailene Woodley is a good runner for the spot, she is Tris in the Divergent series, but also knocked it out of the park playing John Green’s Hazel Grace. Mae Witman, she played Ann, do you know Ann? on Arrested development, she appeared in Scott Pilgrim vs The World and voiced Katara for three seasons on my favourite show Avatar The Last Airbender. As if being an evil ex wasn’t enough she is Sifu Katara That makes me want to throw my vote her way right now.
But guys, after much consideration, I think I would say Zoe Salanda. Starring as an alien in Avatar and a pirate with Johnny Depp this chick rocks. Now I know those aren’t nerd royalty but consider her other roles. Ever heard of Uhura? Yes, that’s her, and she is in fact Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy. So if you can be a pirate, an alien in a movie as big as Avatar, plus break and enforce laws in space, I think you deserve a crown. I dunno this badass isn’t someone to be trifled with, and although she may not be the most obvious choice, this chick is just getting rolling.
Did I leave plenty of nerd royalty and titans out? Yes. Why? Cause all good things come to an end, also if I sat here, talking about how the fandom crown would sit perfect on Carrie Fishers cinnamon roll hair, or how John Barrowman walks around at conventions when he isn’t shooting Ollie with arrows or flying invisible spaceships, we would be here forever. Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe there shouldn’t be a queen and king. Maybe it should be more like the house of commons. MP for Sci Fi Warwick Davis, Treasurer of fantasy Emma Watson. Maybe everyone should be allowed to lead us into a battle of LARPing and cosplaying together. Maybe that’s the whole point. I’m here, all set on nerd unity, and then I just say these two people are the king and queen, I mean it’s 2014 for god sakes. So you know what, I think everyone, from Billy Dee right to Sigourney Weaver deserves to get a shout out. As space pilots or sword weilders. As superheroes or vampire hunters. I love them all equally, all actors, actresses, writers and directors who submerge themselves in nerd culture.
Also, to them, I would say thank you, thank you for just being you. Thank you for giving us stories and adventures that will never leave us.
But in all seriousness, nobody can beat Ian and Zoe.